生活趣事幽默分享句子英文(幽默心情)

1.
My
boss
asked
me
if
I
was
capable
of
performing
multitasking.
I
replied,
"Yes,
I
can
eat,
text,
and
watch
TV
all
at
the
same
time. "
【笑】

2.
Yesterday,
my
mom
asked
me
to
clean
my
room.
I
replied,
"Why
clean
my
room
when
it's
just
going
to
get
messy
again
in
a
few
days?"
She
had
no
comeback.
【坏笑】

3.
The
other
day,
I
tried
to
make
a
new
recipe
and
ended
up
starting
a
fire
in
the
kitchen.
I
guess
I'm
not
much
of
a
cook
after
all.
【哎呀】

4.
My
boyfriend
thought
it
would
be
hilarious
to
prank
me
on
April
Fool's
Day
by
gluing
my
phone
to
my
hand
while
I
was
sleeping.
I
didn't
find
it
as
funny
when
I
had
to
go
to
work
with
my
phone
attached
to
me.
【无语】

5.
I
once
tried
to
impress
a
guy
by
ordering
a
dish
in
a
fancy
French
restaurant,
only
to
realize
I
didn't
know
how
to
pronounce
it.
I
ended
up
just
pointing
to
the
menu.
【尴尬】

6.
My
little
sister
asked
me
if
I
knew
how
to
speak
emoji.
I
replied,
"Of
course,
I'm
fluent
in
smiley
faces. "
【玩笑】

7.
I
attempted
to
bake
cookies
for
a
party
and
accidentally
used
salt
instead
of
sugar.
Needless
to
say,
no
one
wanted
to
try
my
"special
recipe. "
【懊恼】

8.
I
accidentally
wore
two
different
shoes
to
work
one
day
and
didn't
realize
until
my
coworker
pointed
it
out.
It
was
a
fashion
statement,
I
swear.
【尴尬】

9.
My
friend
tried
to
teach
me
how
to
skateboard
and
I
ended
up
falling
in
front
of
a
group
of
cute
guys.
Needless
to
say,
I
never
stepped
foot
on
a
skateboard
again.
【惨痛的经历】

10.
One
time,
I
accidentally
sent
a
text
message
complaining
about
my
boss
to
my
boss
instead
of
my
friend.
Talk
about
awkward.
【无语】

11.
My
mom
walked
in
on
me
dancing
in
front
of
the
mirror
to
Britney
Spears.
Instead
of
being
embarrassed,
I
just
said,
"What?
I'm
practicing
for
my
future
dance
career. "
【厚颜无耻】

1
2.
I
tried
to
dye
my
hair
blonde
at
home
and
ended
up
turning
it
orange.
I
had
to
wear
a
hat
for
a
week
until
I
could
get
it
fixed.
【懊恼】

1
3.
My
little
nephew
asked
me
if
I
was
a
mermaid
because
I
have
long
hair.
I
replied,
"Yes,
I
am
a
mermaid
in
disguise. "
He
totally
believed
me.
【玩笑】

1
4.
I
accidentally
spilled
coffee
on
my
shirt
before
a
big
meeting
and
had
to
wear
a
sweater
to
cover
it
up.
It
was
90
degrees
outside.
【热死我了】

1
5.
I
thought
it
would
be
a
good
idea
to
try
a
hot
sauce
challenge
and
ended
up
in
tears.
My
mouth
burned
for
hours
afterwards.
【痛苦】

1
6.
My
mom
asked
me
to
cook
dinner,
so
I
ordered
pizza
and
put
it
on
plates
to
make
it
look
homemade.
She
never
found
out.
【骗人】

1
7.
I
was
walking
down
the
street
and
slipped
on
a
banana
peel,
just
like
in
the
cartoons.
I
couldn't
stop
laughing
for
a
solid
minute.
【好玩】

1
8.
My
grandma
asked
me
how
to
use
her
new
iPhone,
so
I
accidentally
deleted
all
of
her
contacts.
She
wasn't
too
happy
with
me.
【疯了】

1
9.
I
once
got
lost
in
a
mall
parking
lot
for
an
hour
trying
to
find
my
car.
Lesson
learned:
always
remember
where
you
parked.
【迷路了】

20.
My
little
cousin
asked
me
if
I
was
a
superhero
because
I
wore
a
cape
on
Halloween.
I
just
replied,
"Yes,
I
am
Superwoman. "
【玩笑】

Tags： 幽默 英文 趣事 句子 心情

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